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About Me Deviant Premium Member Adam HallidayMale/Australia Group group avatar #HallOfFlame
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
10 Month Premium Membership:
Given by =anjouanna
Statistics 917 Deviations 3,516 Comments 5,599 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Im motivated to write by the pain of my past, a drug addicted mother with bi polar, an abusive step father, judgmental half siblings, an angry twin and finally the deaths of my mother and older sister. These moments created an open mind, one that will think and write about the pain of humanity. subjects I write about include mental health, drug addiction, self harm, murder, child abuse(emotional, verbal, physical and sexual), incest, sexuality preference and animal cruelty.

Random Favourites

Collection of art that I either relate to, find emotion in it or am inspired by it. Just a warning about some of the poems i have added in this folder, like my work they tend to be both confronting and overwhelming.

Friends

Watchers

You place ur cigarette in the ash tray, your fourteen year old kid ask, can I have one, you reply; 

45%
14 deviants said No, its an addiction
13%
4 deviants said No, smoking kills
13%
4 deviants said Yes, but smoking kills
6%
2 deviants said No, smoking is wrong for someone your age
6%
2 deviants said Yes, but it's an addiction
6%
2 deviants said Hide your smokes
6%
2 deviants said Other, please comment
3%
1 deviant said Yes but smoking is wrong for someone your age
0%
No deviants said Say nothing and light up next smoke
0%
No deviants said Say nothing and light up smoke in next room
The shadow on my wall sits and accepts its life and my choices, but i question.

2012 has come with ample warning yet the tears I hide behind my painted smiles waits to be released. My birthday has passed and thus the memory of my mother and sisters grave disappearing beneath the build up of time. I miss them and they way that made me feel; complete. I accept their deaths but struggle with the gift I have known as life. I live in a boarding house in a area known for drugs and crime, the people I live with are respectful mostly, to my face but I know that when I'm not there they judge what they resist to understand; my sexuality and my depression and social anxiety. I give them what assets and efforts I can afford to give but their respect, or at least their tolerance of me continues to avoid me.

I returned to TAFE and was informed that my presence there is no longer an option, I know they mean well, that they want me to focus on finding a new job rather than living in the past and helping them for free. money is sadly an issue that has risen. A new job would change that but the fear of change, the fear of the unknown motivates me to hide in my room with only my depression for company. I don't like my house or the way in which I'm living however, because it is familiar I accept and refuse to change my situation.

My poetry continues to be born without my effort, my pieces jump from my mind to paper with out much thought, both a good and bad thing. good for I'm continuing to express my anger and regret from the moments of my past, some thrown at me and some that I created my own. Bad for some emotional pieces are written but without my thought the emotions associated with those pieces remain in my mind, fighting for a way to escape even if for just a moment on ignorance.

I made a new friend, the first one in years last Christmas. Have spent time with him and have enjoyed out talks and meaningful exchanges. But like most aspects to life and communication there is a down side; as he learns of my past and the pain I carry he has given pity and that pity becomes anger, for I hold on to the pain and hide behind it. I don't work anymore, I don't have large group of friends or a family and the less said about the illusion of love the better. My life is empty and that is partiality my fault, I accept that. His anger stems from the assumption that I have great social skills, a sense of humor and am motivated and reliable once I create a routine, Angry for despite these possible abilities I choose to live in a situation that is hurting me and choosing to hide from life knowing that I will wake up on my twenty seventh birthday and still lack the basics that I want yet do nothing to obtain now.

If you made it this far than I thank you .. . . . . . .

Until we speak . . . . . . .
  • Mood: Unheard
  • Listening to: Whispering voices
  • Reading: To much in to it
  • Watching: An angry shadow stare back
  • Drinking: alchol, sadly

Journal History

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Melbounre - Frankston
  • Interests: writing, media/politics, wrestling
  • Favourite movie: Journey Through Life
  • Favourite band or musician: Micheal Franti, John Farnham
  • Favourite artist: My Reflection
  • Favourite style of art: Poetry
  • Wallpaper of choice: Wrestling Related
  • Skin of choice: Wrestling Related
  • Favourite game: GTA - San Andrews
  • Favourite gaming platform: ps2
  • Personal Quote: be more then a shadows reflection
  • Tools of the Trade: my mind
  • MSN: malcomred1988@hotmail.com

Groups

Visitors

:iconbeatchball:
~BeatchBall
May 15, 2012
9:44 pm
:iconsnowboardgirl1002:
~Snowboardgirl1002
May 14, 2012
12:59 pm
:iconxelanesque:
=xelanesque
May 10, 2012
11:50 am
:iconlovelesscrosseria:
~LovelessCrosseria
May 8, 2012
10:26 pm
:iconthetemp2:
~TheTemp2
May 1, 2012
4:01 pm

Comments


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Add a Comment:
 
:iconburnxlove:
~BurnXlove Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
._.
You are awesome at poetry!
:iconloveloveplz:

--
Cheating is not an accident.
Falling on a bike is an accident.
You don't trip and fall into a vagina.
Reply
:iconluffy0001:
~Luffy0001 Apr 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for joining :iconagainst-animalabuse: :D

--
Group~ :iconagainst-animalabuse:
"This sh*t is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie motherf**ker." Gerard Way
I whacked France in his eyes with a spoon because my mother told me to... XD
:dygel::noir::blackice:
Owl: hOo HoO
.^_^.
.(o,o)
('`'`')
.."."..
Reply
:iconsilentangelawaits:
~silentangelawaits Apr 4, 2012  Student Artist
thanks alot for the faves of my poems i appreciate it.

--
*"You paint me into the memories of all your pain but I wlll not be drawn into the past again cuz all of this is all that I can take and you could under understand the demons that I face..."*
Reply
:iconbluekyopuppy:
*Bluekyopuppy Apr 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch :heart:

--
Bisexual and proud >X3
:butterfly:My friends are my reason to live:butterfly:
Wanna Role Play? [link]
Icon [link]
I apologize for anything and everything Mella does
Reply
:iconletmesuffer:
~letmesuffer Apr 3, 2012  New member Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!
Reply
:iconobsidian-nightfall:
*Obsidian-Nightfall Apr 3, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you for the recent favorite(s)

--
Please buy my book - [link]

My blog: [link]

'A poem is a naked person. Some people say that I am a poet.' Dylan
Reply
:icondevilia666:
=Devilia666 Apr 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave ^^

--
Sleep is for the weak.

(\__/)
(O.o ) This is Bunny.
(> < ) Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination!
Reply
:iconmylittlewhiterose:
~MyLittleWhiteRose Mar 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the favs and the watch:)

--
Art is the language of the soul
:D:la::D:la::D:la::D:la::D:la::D:la::D:la::D
Reply
:iconbuena-suerte:
~buena-suerte Mar 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for joining my group. Any reasons? ^^

--
Ladies look back at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me. He's probably better looking.....
Reply
Hidden by Owner
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(1 Reply)
:iconbluesilver84:
Would love to have you join my group #DA-Art-Gallery Nice work.

--
What box?
Reply
:iconcalumdc:
~CalumDC Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Many thanks for the favourite, it means a lot,

--
Greetings Members of the internet

I don't need no doctor or shrink to tell me how mad I am, we can guess by ourselves
Reply
:iconlovelesscrosseria:
by the way, I have an danish assignment where I have to read and analyse some dansih poems, and after that have to perspectivate (not sure if it a real word) it to other poems, the theme in general an so on.
the themes are death or fear (we have to choose between the two), and I wanted to ask if it would be ok to use some of your poems?
I won't tell the thing you have told me in confidence, I just think that I might be able to use some of your poems
Reply
Hidden by Owner
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:iconpoetrylion93:
Welcome to :iconjustkeepwriting: (:

--
May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face.
And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.

Founder of [link] JustKeepWriting
And [link]
Reply
:iconlackofevolution:
thanks, i look forward to sharing poetry with this group

--
Do more then live as as your shadows reflection.
Reply
:iconevansgothicprincess:
Thankz For The Watch ;D

--
Smile, Because That's How God Made You ;D
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconevansgothicprincess:
Oooooo, Thank You Very Much ;D

--
Smile, Because That's How God Made You ;D
Reply
:iconevansgothicprincess:
Thankz For The Favs ;D

--
Smile, Because That's How God Made You ;D
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconevansgothicprincess:
N'awwww Thank You ;D

--
Smile, Because That's How God Made You ;D
Reply
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