Confide Beyond Bias Minds

I cry as I remember, I use to share each lung,
My baby grew inside of me, we were less than one,
Shared blood, from nothing he did grow,
An experience of taught love, a planted seed to sow,
Shared blood, the egg that tried to hide from the sperm,
Afraid of two words and one term,
I screamed for patience and forgiveness as I gave birth,
Fearing true understandings, this man made Earth,
The boyfriend of trust would sadly leave,
As he broke the calculator and had to believe,
My parents watched him drive away,
Two parents with two different points to betray,
They offered support and a home,
Despite being old enough to survive on my own,
I wash my son knowing he will never be clean,
Discovering his future from where I have been,
As he plays I watch with care,
As he sleeps that watch becomes a stare,
The blood on my hands lives under his skin,
Next to his bed, the never emptied rubbish bin,
My parents help, bills food and to teach,
Their understandings of one another, to far to reach,
The boy friend of the past, I want him back,
The ability to confide beyond bias minds, the one thing I lack,
Please I beg, don't leave me alone with my son,
Thoughts become apparent, reach for the invisible gun,
Destroy the question before it is asked,
Prevent the judgement before it is passed,
Deny the pain the will be born and stay,
The scars that live long after the councilor bills I will pay,
Disallow the screams of tomorrow night,
The self identity that with time, will come to sight,
Deny the thoughts that will become his drowning flood,
Betray, the result and the catalyst of the shared blood,
I cry as I remember, I use to share each lung,
My father asks to hug his child, so I pass him our son.