Waving Goodbye To My Penis

My virgin heart stood, that image would fade,
As a lover became the individual that paid,
For a defeat, the term love became lust,
For a future repeat, a heart covered in dust,
Sitting in a quiet and empty room,
Waiting to be rediscovered, the medication will forever loom,
Sheila, the second start of the race,
The youthful ignorance behind the emotions on my face,
Love was, the use of a hand,
Finding a breast, a place to land,
We laid in bed but did not think of sex,
We lived in the moment, no idea of what is next,
Natalie remained, the sound of the landscape,
The unseen measurement, the aging measuring tape,
Alicia, lied about an abortion then had our kid,
It took many years before this lie of an end, I could forgive,
A psych ward stay could not remove,
The reality of our shared birth, the life to prove,
Our child grew, with three candles would stand,
Only to die, don't judge the knife in my hand,
Justin, the label of a man did disappear,
His mind was influenced by mental health, thus became a fear,
He took a moment from my past,
Creating a lie, to others he hoped would last,
Paul, the stereotype of a gay male,
Became the faded result of a once was grail,
He spoke of a life he did not live,
Then questioned, my physical parts to give,
Matt, the mature mind would state,
A promise that I knew he wouldn't make,
Despite empty words I did believe,
Despite time with his family I was forced to leave,
I lay here now with a pen to hold,
Hoping my emotions are written in bold,
However, I doubt that you will understand,
A giant gap exist, between my penis and hand,
Before Christmas last year I changed sides of the tabel,
Sleeping with Ann then again changing the title of label,
I hold a book of past labels and questions,
Have these chapters left a meaningful impression?
My virgin heart stood, that image would fade,
Responsibilities of sexual contact, don't give in to the idea of getting laid.